But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
