real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
