I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize