You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
