Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize