Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
