Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
