So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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