I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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