Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
3pm strippers are depressing
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
