Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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