The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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