Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
