were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
