I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
