so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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