ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
