Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
