Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
