Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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