im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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