How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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