Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
