I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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