i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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