Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize