i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize