I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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