Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
