I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
