im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't trust your balls anymore.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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