How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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