you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You left your phone here
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