so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
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