Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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