I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
