i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
