Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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