Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green