Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.