he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".