there was a trapeze. enough said
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.