S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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