Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
