College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize