M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just high enough for therapy.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
