I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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