Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize