Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
