i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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