Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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