I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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