As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
