If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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