I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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