I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize