i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Did I show you my penis last night?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
