none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
