so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
