O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
