he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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