Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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