if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
