How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
