Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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