the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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